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LET THE FESTIVITIES BEGIN … I don't know about you, but my Christmas certainly came early when I opened this very newspaper one day last week to see a front-page headline declaring "Commissioner, planner weighs City Council run." … the headline did confuse me slightly and raised the false hope that we actually had two candidates — both a commissioner and a planner — running for high office, but that little verb "weighs" set that hope to rest …
Published: December 5, 2007 December, you should know, is a slow month in the column-writing business … there hasn't been a new take on Christmas in over 2,000 years and the "yes, Virginia" angle was used and copyrighted long before I owned my first typewriter … so, when a potential City Council candidate — even a relatively unknown one — pops into view, it's a happy, happy day indeed … Although the candidate-to-be, Sydney Vergis, insists she's only in the exploratory, trial-balloon stage, she will be a full-fledged candidate when the times comes … at age 25, she makes Councilman Lamar Heystek look like an old man, which is not easy to do … and, with a last name like Vergis, she's not likely to draw the ire of Mayor Sue Greenwald, who raised a "same-name" ruckus last summer when Cecilia Escamilla Greenwald announced her intention to explore a council seat … At this point, in fact, most folks don't know if her name is Sydney Vergis or Vergis Sydney, but in time they will … trust me on this … SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS … just so you know, this Saturday the politically incorrect city of Woodland will host its world-famous Christmas parade right down Main Street … as one Woodlander explained to me, "that's what we've always called it and there's no reason to change it now."… GRADE DEFLATION … my friend Larry in El Macero writes to say "I noticed in your column you quote one of Davis' (many) economically illiterate citizens as recommending commercial rent control for downtown." … indeed, just another suggestion to help our struggling merchants stay afloat … "I don't think she went far enough." … what, you think rent should be free? … "How about Davis High School legislating 'grade control' so that the smartest and/or hardest-working students can't receive anything above a 'C'?" … wouldn't have affected my grades at DHS, Larry … "That way, those types of students won't be dominating the freshman slots at our top universities, and the 'D' and 'F' kids can have equal representation." … sounds fair to me … FAME AND FOOLISHNESS … thanks to a kind reader, I now have in front of me the actual copy from a recent NPR story titled "When Wild Turkeys Take Over." … it says "The cemetery in the quiet college town of Davis, California, has been invaded by wild turkeys." … invaded? … by a herd of turkeys? … they're a delightful diversion, to be sure, but "invaded" is a bit strong if you ask me … And what's this "quiet college town" nonsense? … we're a university town … what does NPR think we are, Chico State? … "The birds are harassing mourners, chasing bicyclists and eating flowers." … oh the horror … "Cemetery managers are experimenting with techniques to get rid of them." … yeah, like showing them pictures of the Woodland cemetery … — Reach Bob Dunning at dunning@davisenterprise.net |
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